. xmas memory .

Here it goes again...

X'mas carols singing through the atmosphere, x'mas gifts displayed.. waiting to be bought and to be given on that special day. Why am i the only one who looks as if xmas is a bad omen?

Once again i'm left with straying thoughts...

All but one vivid thought, one vivid memory.. What would have happened to us, if that thing never happened to you?

7 years ago.. we were happily on the phone, anticipating the time to meet each other in KL. And you, who did everything secretly for me all those times.

2 weeks before that Christmas, you promised me that you'll be in KL. Just to celebrate our first x'mas, just to tell me face to face, how and what you felt... I waited nervously, the first and last ever gift that i had to think more than twice before i got it for you..

7 days left before xmas.. how was i to know, that phone call from him, your best friend, telling me this news? It took you away from me forever, leaving a scar so deep and a pain that burned through my heart. How could you leave me without an answer? Why?

Too traumatized by the whole news, all i could hear in my ears, through the phone, was "internal bleeding, bled too much.." and the next minute, you left me.. forever. Tears, and more tears..

I will never forgive you, for leaving me alone... I will never forgive you, for not fulfilling your promise.

Where am i to go now? Who shall i give the gift to?

7 years has passed, that little unwrapped gift is still with me...

I miss you, my dear angel.. i just wished, i could see you one last time before you left me..