. selfishness .

i admit i am selfish. quite a selfish one, when it comes to sharing my boyfriend with others.

why is it that when you mentioned that place, you did not tell me you were going till after you bloody well paid the money?

i'm pissed. i'm angry. i feel left out. do you know how it feels when your girlfriend travels without you? have her own holiday without you? i guess you don't. because i invited you for every trip. how stupid can i be?

am i the kind of girlfriend where you can only show to your family and not friends or colleagues?

why the hell did i introduced my friends to you in the first place then?

i'm hard to please, i admit. i'm a bitch, i admit. i can't be without you, well, i fucking admit it. otherwise, i wouldn't be such a fool to come back to you..

no more trips with YOU. you can enjoy your holidays with your gang of colleagues; whom i've never seen before, nor you having the courtesy to even mention their names to me or even introduce them to me.

i ain't invisible. if you treat as i am that way, FINE! i will be invisible from you from now onwards.

sometimes, it makes me wonder, why the hell am i eating my own words now? of me telling myself, being with you will just hurt me one day or another.

i'm just so pissed at the moment. tell me how can i trust you when you lied to me so badly long time ago? how can i trust you when i can't even trust myself?

fuck it.

i'm bloody well gonna enjoy my trip my own.

i hate being without you.

i hate you when you never even have the courtesy to ask me if i wanted to join.

i'm fucking gonna be too freaking busy to even see you for the next few weeks.

enjoy your weekends with them.

i'm trying to not be bothered bout what you do anymore.

argh!

*pulls her hair~*